Sunday, July 3, 2011

Im Juli

My first full day in Berlin went relatively well. I managed to get my travel pass, cell phone, and apartment deposit business completed relatively quickly. I did discover, however, that my current phone plan is ridiculously expensive, so once I run through the credit the phone came with, I’ll probably switch.

What I would really like to do, though, is file a complaint with the Berlin Weather Bureau. They apparently did not get the memo that it is JULY, as today was extremely windy, rainy, and in the low 20s Celsius. Not rainy because it’s humid, and not windy in the “breezy” sense. It has become apparent that the tenured bureaucrats at BWB have become lazy and no longer feel the need to follow the seasonal guidelines established in Nature Guide (versions 1.0 and 1.1) or the expectations outlined in the Development of Life, Etc., as discussed on pages 1, 42, 63, and 4332-4501. Therefore I fully intend to file a complaint, particularly in regards to the distress this has caused and its effects on my personal well-being. I will be filing for damages (highlighting the fact that I was attacked several times by flippant umbrellas and my colleague was forced to purchase two umbrellas within one day due to irreparable wind damage). I am seeking a settlement of at least three months of lovely, sunny weather plus financial damages. I am willing to forgo the financial damages if BWB will immediately provide the requested weather change as a good faith measure. Photographic proof of said events to come soon...

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