...if I'd really been stoned.
So, I spent six hours straight sitting in front of a computer and working on a paper at which point I had only gotten halfway through. So I thought, I'm going to get cupcakes, durned it! I get my cupcakes and walk out to the nearest bus stop. And I see Santa. And then another one. And another one. And then some elves. Wearing slutty elf outfits. And sharing cigarettes.
As I slowly and cautiously approach the crowd of smoking, slutty Santas and Santa helpers - I kid you not - a sweet sixteen party turns the corner. About twenty 16-year-olds wearing matching pink shirts turn the corner and start giggling about the Santas. They stop at the first attractive Santa and start asking silly questions and generally being teenagers.
By the time I get to my bus stop, I'm holding a dozen cupcakes, in a crowd of Santas talking to 16 year olds on one side, slutty elves flirting with an extremely attractive police officer on the other side, and just generally bewildered. As the bus pulls up to the curb for me, I turn around again, just in time to see one of the Three Kings show up and start arguing with the bouncer about his ID.
Perhaps he should have tried bribing the bouncer with some Myrrh. Or maybe that's what I'd been smoking.